numb3rs

you know what's so hilarious? i've never been able to memorize my driver's license number, my bank account number, my 5-digit employee i.d. number (during my 5 years of working at HISD), my church offering account number (which, sadly, is only 3 digits), or even victor's cell phone number, at that. but yet, i have my 14-digit houston public library card number memorized.

the big decision

well, the decision is final.

some of you may (or may not) know that victor and i have been long discussing whether or not i should stay home with caleb full-time. since the end of august, i had been continuing my graduate studies in educational diagnostics at HBU. at the time, victor was still at home looking for an internship, so he was able to watch caleb while i was in class, studying, writing papers, etc. come november, victor was still looking for an internship, and the discussion of me staying at home was getting heated.

victor preferred that i stay home b/c he wanted us to be his primary caregivers. he insisted that even if my dad could watch caleb, it wouldn't be the same as having his mom around. i, on the other hand, felt like it would be such a shame to stop now. i had put so much time and money and effort into it... and i only had 4 classes and a practicum left before graduation. if i worked hard, i could finish by the summer. if i quit now, who knew when and if i would be able to go back and finish. and if i didn't, what a waste! plus, victor was still at home, and who knew how long it would take for him to find an internship. if he was home, he could watch caleb.

one saturday, after a meta team meeting, i was sharing some of our family's struggles with pastor ted. he asked me that day, "what if you went ahead and committed to staying at home full-time? would that free up victor to go out and look for an internship?" what? commit to staying at home before he got an internship? was he serious?

after weeks and weeks of going back and forth, i was finally deeply convicted by one of pastor ted's sermons. in the meta service, we've been going through a parable sermon series. that sunday, we examined the parable of the hidden treasure/pearl, where once it was found, the man went and sold all his possessions so that he could buy the land where the treasure was found and take hold of the treasure. then ted went into his own story where, in college, he changed his major from engineering to sociology because he knew that his calling was to go into full-time ministry... and how, during a family dinner, his aunt had said, "what a waste!" to his decision... but the treasure that he has found in doing God's work has been immeasureable.

victor and i talked that night. those words rang so loudly in my head, "what a waste!" but the sermon reminded me that it's not a waste to give up my degree plans to gain something greater. time with caleb can never be gained back. he certainly is a precious treasure to us, and raising him is, then, a God-appointed task. it's not that i think that there's anything wrong with working moms... not in the least. but for my situation, although being a diagnostician was interesting to me, and i was good at it, i'm not at a place yet where i can say that it's my life's passion. finishing the degree, to me, was important for a few reasons: 1) it would have been a "waste" not to, 2) i wanted that piece of paper that said i had my M.Ed., 3) i was afraid of what people would say if i quit (namely, my advisor, professors, parents...), 4) i wanted to be sure of future security, especially since victor still had not found a paid internship. in the end, i was convicted that these reasons were weak and faithless. if i truly believe in God's ultimate faithfulness and provision, why was i worried?

so that following tuesday, as i was taking my final exam, i decided that i would go up to the M.Ed. office and tell them that i was not going to enroll for the winter quarter. i figured that if i didn't go ahead and make the cut that day, i would continue to hum and haw over my decision, second-guessing myself. so i made the cut.

two days later, victor gets a call offering him a paid internship at Depelchin.

God teaches us about faith in some crazy, crazy ways.

for such a sick kid, he sure doesn't look sick.

psychology today

sick kid = sleepless nights.

... on a separate note, victor subscribes to 'psychology today'. i happened to read a bit of it and found an article particularly interesting called "rocking the cradle of class"... it's about parents and how it's now socially acceptable (albeit damaging) to live vicariously through your kids. a few quotes i found thought-provoking:

The pursuit of perfection in kids stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of the task of parenting, Anderegg charges. "Parenting is not an engineering task, it's an endurance task. It requires a high tolerance for boredom. Engineering is based on the idea that if you do something right the first time, you don't have to do it again." Efficiency, however, is inimical to child-rearing. "Parenting is a problem to be solved daily. It's a repetitive, quotidian task," says Anderegg. That's what maximizes parent-child interaction and persuades kids they are loved. "Seeing kids as well-designed products is a disease of really smart people," he notes. "They feel they have to make child-rearing a task worthy of their time."
......

The trouble is, perfectionism is transmitted from parents to kids. "A child makes four As and one B," says Adderholdt. "All it takes is the raising of an eyebrow for her to get the message." Then it seeps into her psyche and creates a pervasive personality style. It lowers her ability to take risks and reduces creativity and innovation -- exactly what's not adaptive in the global marketplace. It keeps kids from engaging in challenging experiences and testing their own limits; they don't get to discover what they truly like. Further, perfectionism reduces playfulness and the assimilation of knowledge. It destroys self-esteem. And just when the world requires flexibility and comfort with ambiguity, perfectionism creates rigidity. Perhaps worse: The emphasis on achievement makes parental love feel too conditional.

In short, the push for perfection undermines the identity capital of kids. But the biggest problem with it may be that it masks the real secret of success in life. Any innovator will tell you that success hinges less on getting everything right than on how you handle getting things wrong. In real life, you can't call the teacher and demand that a C be changed to an A. This is where creativity, passion and perseverance come into play. The ultimate irony is, in a flat world you don't make kids competitive by pushing them to be perfect but by allowing them to become passionate about something that compels their interest.

solids, chillin', & the office

caleb turned 5 months old yesterday! to celebrate, we started him on solid foods (which, essentially, is just a little bit of cereal mixed with a lot of my milk, served via a spoon). what a messy endeavor. most of the rice cereal dribbled out of his mouth and onto his bib/shirt/face... basically anything other than going down his throat... and he kept giving us these confused looks as if to ask us, "what's going on? what are you doing? what is this stuff?" i'm sure he was wondering why i wasn't just giving it to him straight from the tap as usual, but it was a fun adventure anyway.















the poor guy has gotten sick. he's terribly congested and coughs and sneezes a lot throughout the day. at night, he wakes up frequently crying. but in the morning, he is SO mellow... totally not his usual squirmy-whiney self. it was actually strangely nice to have such a calm child for the first time. but victor disagreed. he said he'd rather caleb be his high-maintenance self than totally quiet and un-fussy. sigh. i suppose he's right. but still... it'd be nice once in awhile. anyway, here's a picture of him this morning during his morning mellow mood.... just chillin'. i think it's hilarious how he has his feet propped up and his left arm casually draped over the seat. he looks so relaxed.
















oh, and per recommendation by the chuans, victor has really gotten into a new show called the office. it's very much like a mix of the comic strip 'dilbert' and the movie 'office space'. it was adapted from a bbc show. he finds it roll-on-the-floor hilarious, but for some reason, i don't find it quite as funny (although it has its moments). i guess i just get so annoyed by the incompetent boss that i can't get past it. anyway, anyone who has ever worked in a workplace with an inept boss will probably find this show pretty entertaining. you can check it out for yourself on nbc. unfortunately for victor, it's actually on at the same time as 'house' (which is a much better show, in my opinion), so we won't be tivo-ing it.

chuy, drool, solids, & jobs

a few great new updates.

caleb has finally started to take notice of chuy. up until now, he barely noticed that chuy existed. but recently, he has a new-found fascination with him. he loves to watch chuy run around the living room, and bursts out into hysterical laughter everytime he comes near and sniffs, licks, bumps, or nudges him. he loves it! i don't know if you can tell by his profile in this picture, but he's totally having a blast. (sidenote, even though chuy doesn't look thrilled in this pic, i don't think he minds caleb's sudden interest in him. )


another thing that we've noticed lately is that caleb has started becoming pretty fussy and wants to bite down on hard things all the time. he's also a drooling machine. we think he might be teething.















he has also started waking up in the middle of the night again (around 4 am) wanting food. the other night, we fed him an extra bottle in between feedings. he guzzled it down happily. he has taken to staring at us (and our food) when we eat, and sometimes tries to grab it for himself. sigh. methinks we need to start him on solid foods very very soon. i really wanted to wait until 6 months, but it looks like he isn't willing to wait that long. (it's kinda sad to think that my milk isn't enough to sustain him anymore.)

last but not least, victor found a job! woo hoo! he has been looking for a paid internship for what seems like an eternity (but in reality, was 9 months). depelchin children's center has hired him to counsel homeless adolescents/young adults, and he'll start on dec. 1st. we are so grateful for God's faithful and timely provision for our family. thanks to everyone who has been praying for us for these many, many months. we cannot be more thankful. God hears our prayers, indeed. on the flip side, while we are ecstatic that victor will start working soon, we're also very sad that he won't be able to spend his days with us (meaning me and caleb) for much longer. victor has certainly developed a strong bond with caleb over these past 5 months, which was made possible by his unemployment. nobody makes caleb laugh the way daddy does.

we'll miss you, daddy!

hmmm....

my current favorite picture of my boy...

20Q

see victor's posting about our new toy! (it actually started as an online game). we can't seem to put it down. we're addicted!

with mia

i've had this one for awhile too... it's of caleb & mia (mia is exactly 1 week older than caleb. check out her chickadee hair!)... and the crazy antics of their parents. poor mia is pretty grumpy in this video because we woke her up from her nap for the exclusive purpose of making her pose infront of a camera. caleb, on the other hand, is just clueless. ha ha ha...



Upload Video at DropShots.com

Cookiemonster

here's a video of caleb laughing at me and my crazy cookiemonster voice... i don't know why he thought it was so funny. i personally thought it sounded freaky, but whatever floats his boat. (and thanks to amy who introduced how to place video on xanga. )



Upload Video at DropShots.com

THANK YOU!

i never got a chance to thank everyone for their prayers and encouragement during the week caleb went through surgery. victor and i are so thankful for all of you. as you know, the surgery went smashingly well and during caleb's post-op doctor's visit, dr. paysse even commented on how impressed she was at the rate of his healing. the picture above is of me and caleb a mere 9 days after his surgery! i am convinced that his quick healing was the result of the many many many prayers that were uttered for him over the course of the weeks. our family has been blessed abundantly by you and your prayers. i cannot say 'thank you' enough. God is so good.