another song

wow, i had no idea so many people liked to come up with their own songs! here's another one of my silly songs...

(sung to the tune of the oscar mayer weiner song)

my baby has a first name, it's c-a-l-e-b
my baby has a second name, it's c-h-i-a-o
i love to play with him each day
and if you ask me why, i'll say
caleb chiao has a way with making me laugh every day.

my 4-month-old cutie

as part of my pasttime, i like to make up songs for caleb. i'm quite proud of my most recent lyrical ballad.
(sung to the tune of "on Christ the solid rock")

my baby caleb loves to whine
i don't know why he's so inclined

he doesn't like to nap at all
so now he won't grow big and tall

'round caleb chiao our lives revolve
he has such strong will and resolve
he has such strong will and resolve.

i'm still working on the other verses... i'm waiting for inspiration.

take me out to the ball game!

For all those men out there who think there's no hope... here's my baseball story:

i never thought i would be a big baseball fan. growing up, i thought baseball was boring and i didn't understand how anyone could sit and watch a game in its entirety. ("goodness, inning after inning of no scores??") the only thing i could watch was basketball, with its constant scoring.

enter victor. we first started dating in 98... right in the middle of the yankee dynasty. he would make me sit through the world series with him, watching game, after game, after game. i was so disinterested that i would grade papers while i sat infront of the tv with him. i remember thinking he was losing his sanity as i watched him go through all these intense emotions as he watched... from high highs to low lows. i didn't understand it. but year after year, i would watch the playoffs and the world series with him, grading my papers as i did so. every now and then, i'd ask questions about the game.

fastforward to today... 7 years later. i love watching baseball... especially the playoffs and the world series. of course, it helps if i have a team to root for, but still. i would MUCH rather sit through a baseball game than any other sport. i love the intensity of each and every pitch... the mind games... the way a game can turn in the blink of an eye. you can ask victor, i've actually gotten to the point where i can't stop thinking about a game the day after.
this, of course, is not to say i know tons about the teams and players. not at all. i don't claim to. but i do love watching the games. and i have begun to understand (a little) the emotional roller coaster victor goes through every time the yankees win or lose. i can't say i've ever lost sleep thinking about it (like he has), but baseball is on my mind way more than i ever thought possible.

and with my baseball post, i cannot go without saying yankee #42 rocks! (go mariano!) i love this guy for so many reasons. i know you'll scoff, but the first time i noticed him was during the 98 world series. he had the longest, prettiest eyelashes. yes, that's what i said. eyelashes. but over the years, i've learned a lot about him... he has a quiet confidence. he's not showy, he just gets the job done... and is the best at what he does. "lights out, baby!"

Post-Surgery Pictures

some pics of caleb post surgery. (i know you're curious. ) actually, he's looking pretty good when he's awake and looking straight at you. we're serious about the wolverine thing... we think he has super-healing powers.


below: a family friend gave caleb a pair of New Balance "all-terrain" shoes when he was first born. they're very cute. but what baby wears shoes at this age? and why exactly would he need "all-terrain" shoes? we put them on him since he's going to outgrow them soon. he doesn't know how to work them yet. he kept slipping and sliding since he couldn't grip the floor with his toes. the arm bands you see on him are what he needs to wear to keep himself from rubbing his eye. he looks like he's got 2 broken arms or something. oh, and yes, victor is wearing shorts.

The Recovery

* sigh* we are so tired. all in all, things have been going well. caleb is recovering so quickly. already, his eye looks way better today than it did just 2 days ago. victor made the comment that he's like wolverine (in x-men) because he heals so quickly... but he still needs constant attention since he's always trying to rub his eye. we have these arm bands that we're supposed to keep on him so that he can't bend his arms to rub his face, but he hates wearing them (as would i), partly because he can't get to his thumb to soothe himself when he has them on (which is not a good thing), so we rarely make him wear them. we just try to keep his hands away from his face. but the little bugger is pretty "tricksey"... he'll try to rub his face into your chest when you're not paying attention. the wounds must itch or something.

during the day, he's a little more fussy than usual, but it's not terrible. at night, though, it's a different story. as you can imagine, he's having a hard time napping and sleeping since his eye is always wide open. as a result, he gets crazy-overtired, and getting him to sleep is really difficult. last night was insane. i've never seen him so hysterical... and his crying makes me cry. i want to take away his pain so badly, but i can do nothing.

another adventure that we've been going through is giving him medication. he needs to take tylenol every 4 hours, have ointment put on his wounds and in his eye throughout the day to keep it moist, and take an oral antibiotic 3 times a day. (lots of medication...) the ointment must make his eye itch or burn or something, because he freaks out everytime we put it on. he takes the tylenol pretty easily, so that's the one we don't mind so much. but giving him 4 ml of the oral antibiotic is difficult. for one, it's quite a bit of medication for a baby to stomach all at once. second, the medication has to be kept in the fridge, so it's cold when we give it to him. the little guy has only had breastmilk all his life, so i don't think he likes that it's cold. third, he's not used to the taste. victor actually tasted a bit to see what it was like, and he thought it was ok. it tasted sweet. but caleb doesn't seem to take to it. we finally figured out late last night that if we slowly squirt the medication in his mouth while he sucks his thumb, he takes in most of it. (the first couple of tries, most of the medicine ended up on his shirt.) still, it's quite a production everytime we do it.

anyway, that's the current update. i can't wait until things heal more and he's able to close his lid a little more. then, at least, we won't have to keep an eye on him every second of the day, and he'll be able to sleep more... and in turn, we'll be able to sleep more.

The Surgery

well, the deed is done. victor and i woke up at 4 am this morning to feed caleb (he couldn't be fed up to 4 hours before the surgery). then we left the house at 5:30 am to get to texas children's hospital by 6. the poor guy was so hungry and sleep-depraved by the time they took him into the o.r. at 8:30. at around 9:15, dr. paysse (along with a guy i assume was a resident- he didn't say anything. just stood next to her and followed her around) came out to tell us that everything went well and to give us some instructions for the next few days. at about 9:30, we went into the recovery room to sit with him and feed him.

the recovery room was interesting. i had never been in a room like that before. it was just like what you see in the movies, where everyone is in one giant room. there were several other kids in there at the time we were there. you couldn't help but look over, eavesdrop on some of their conversations, and wonder what they came in for.

anyway, the first moment i saw caleb, i gasped a little. i mean, i knew it wasn't going to look pretty. the doctor had told us that several times. but as many times as you're told, i don't think you could ever prepare yourself for seeing it in person... much less seeing your own child in such a condition. the nurse told us she was watching my reaction because in the past, other moms have broken down in tears when they saw their children after this surgery. i didn't cry, but i had to catch my breath a little. we sat with him as he slept and ate. it was so strange... he looked awake because his eye was wide open and he was staring straight at me, but he was really sleeping. (victor and i are going to have a hard time figuring out when he's awake and when he's asleep for the next few days.)

victor and i are so thankful... for many things. God is so good to us. we are so thankful we have caleb, that he's healthy, and was able to handle the surgery and anesthesia well. we're also thankful for all of our friends and family who were (and still are) so supportive of us, encouraging us, and praying for us. we really felt surrounded by all of your prayers.

thanks, everyone... and if you feel inclined, please continue to keep us in your prayers as caleb recovers from surgery and as victor and i learn how to care for him during this time.
blessings!

Hilarious

i read the most hilarious article the other day. i mean, i was on the bed rolling with tears in my eyes, i thought it was so funny. but when i read it to victor, he didn't get it. i guess you have to have first hand experience to find it as funny as i did. (my apologies to those who find the humor crass...) here it is:

how to prepare for nursing (forget that old advice about "gently rubbing your nipples with a towel." if you really want to feel ready to breastfeed, here's what to do.)

day 1: gently rub your nipples with sandpaper.
day 2: at bedtime, set your alarm clock to go off every two hours. each time it rings, spend 20 minutes sitting in a rocking chair with your nipples clamped in a pair of chip clips.
day 3: draw branching lines all over your chest with a blue-green marker, then stand in front of your bathroom mirror and sing "i feel pretty".
day 4: open your already-crowded freezer and make room for five dozen plastic milk bags.
day 5: fit the hose of a vacuum cleaner over one breast and set on "medium pile." turn off vacuum when nipple is three inches long. switch breasts.
day 6: obtain "do not cross" tape from your local police station, then wrap firmly around your chest. when your spouse asks about it, say, "get used to it."
day 7: tape a water balloon to each breast and squeeze into a maternity bra. repeatedly hook and unhook the nursing flaps with one hand while using the other to balance a sack of squirming puppies.
day 8: dine in the fanciest, snootiest restaurant you can afford, making sure to arrive with a big wet spot directly over each nipple.
day 9: record your mother proclaiming, "just give the baby some cereal like God intended, and he'll sleep right through the night." play in an endless loop at 1 am, 3 am, and 5 am.
day 10: slather your breasts with peanut butter, top with birdseed, and stand very still in your backyard.
day 11: go someplace public and stuff a lifelike baby doll under your shirt. use the doll's arm to suddenly hike the shirt up past your collar bone. lower shirt. feign nonchalant smile.
day 12: suckle a wolverine.
congratulations! you are now ready to nurse a baby. maybe.

20 facts about Caleb

caleb was tagged by emi. 20 facts... we'll see if we can do that many.

1. my favorite oral accessory: my left thumb. it's practically in my mouth 24/7 and i wail if someone tries to take it out.
2. i laugh whenever mom or dad grunts at me or headbangs to rock music.
3. other children coo... i grunt.
4. i love to stand and jump. daddy hopes this means i may become a basketball player in the future.
5. everyone marvels at my huge, round sphere of a head.
6. mommy and daddy rate my poos according to hurricane categories. (i.e. "woah, he just had a major category 5.")
7. i love to take naps with my cow mat.
8. i love sesame street songs. my favorite is "rubber duckie". it always calms me right down.
9. i like when mommy or daddy reads me maisy books. i like the big, bold pictures.
10. i like to watch people eat. (i can't wait until i get to try that stuff.)
11. i usually poo while i eat
12. i was born 20.25 inches long. i'm now 24 inches long.
13. i was born 7.5 lbs. i'm now 16 lbs.
14. i look like daddy.
15. i act like mommy.
16. i'm hate the feeling of falling. i get a look of panic on my face everytime mommy or daddy throws me up in the air.
17. did i mention that i like to suck my thumb? actually, it doesn't have to be my thumb. at times, i'll suck my whole hand if i can get it in my mouth.
18. i use my forehead to open my right eye so that i can see. i get little wrinkles in my forehead above that eye because of it.
19. i never let mommy sleep in.
20. i love mommy and daddy, but i don't care much for chuy yet. i don't like how he sometimes wakes me from my nap with his barking.

Surgery

well, it's official. we just went back to the ophthalmologist yesterday afternoon and there's not doubt that caleb needs to have the surgery done. he will be undergoing the procedure on october 13th (next thursday). victor and i are nervous about it, but we know that it's what's best for him, and we've taken a lot of time to ask 2nd and 3rd opinions, pray, and pray some more.

but i tell you what, that consent form that they make you sign is one scary piece of paper. i felt like i was signing my son's life away. it basically went into detail about how they weren't liable if caleb's condition worsened, if he had any loss of limbs, a list of all these complications, and if he died. i know it's a worse case scenario thing to cover their butts, but it sure does scare the living daylights out of you before you sign it.

then dr. paysse was describing what would be done as he was anesthetized. she told us about the gas mask, then putting the iv in, then inserting the breathing tube down his throat... i feel myself tear up everytime i think about it.

we then asked about what he would look like after the surgery. she said the eyelid would look pretty scary afterwards, but it would smooth out in about 2 weeks. his right eye would be very wide open, and we'd have to put drops in his eye a few times a day. after all healing is done, she said that his eye will always be open about 2 mm, even when he sleeps. the poor kid.

but i'm trying really hard to keep perspective. victor and i love caleb so much. he has brought us so much joy, and i'm constantly reminding myself how fortunate i am to have such a healthy, happy baby. he's so active, and extremely "robust" (a euphemism for "chubby"). we feel so blessed that God has placed him in our care.

anyway, all this to say, please remember him in your prayers next thursday morning.